What Not to Say and What to Say to an Artist about their Art
- Katherine Griffin
- 1 day ago
- 6 min read
I had a conversation, by conversation I mean they talked and I just listened, about my art the other week and it got me thinking. You see, there are precious few people that I can truly and honestly talk to about my art. This is hardly the fault of those around me, but much more of a me problem. Well, more like this is a very common artist problem. If you would like to talk to the artist in your life (be that person a visual, writing, or performing artist) about their art, below are some ideas about what not to and what to talk about (this is long, apparently I have thoughts).
What Not to Say to an Artist about Their Art
Do not Insult their Clients
I cannot tell you how many times I tell people that I paint pet portraits and then get this kind of response, "I don't understand people who want paintings and photographs of their pets. It is so weird." And yes, that is a direct quote.
Do not Call them to Tell them that you Do not Like their Art
I once had someone, not too long ago, call me specifically to tell me that they did not like a series of paintings that I had done. I am not sure if they felt pressure to purchase something from the series and wanted to let me know why they were not going to purchase. Or if they just decided that I desperately needed to know that I had painted the wrong thing, either way...
I don't call you only to tell you that what you do for a living is not up to snuff and then hang up.
Do not Assume that an Artist is expecting you to Purchase something from Them
In the same vein as #2. I have yet to meet an artist who does not walk on egg shells around people, hoping to not offend the ones they love into thinking that they have to buy their things. No artist is going to push you. If you buy, that is great, if you talk to them about their art, that is great, if you don't buy that is also great. Its all good.
I once was talking to a co-worker whose dog had just died. She was so sad, but when her husband (whom I also worked with) came up to us and over heard what we were talking about, he got all ridged and weird. He hushed her up and they walked away. I thought it was weird at the time, but it wasn't until days later that another co-worker pointed out that he might have thought I was trying sell a pet portrait. We are not ambulance chasers. I promise.
Do not Ask for Free Art from a family Artist
If you think their art (haircut, car services, photography, etc etc) is good enough to get for free, it is good enough for you to pay for. Just because someone has a skill, doesn't mean that you should push them into getting something out of them. Realize that this skill is the way they are trying to feed themselves.
I am 100% guilty of this. My sister is an amazing professional photographer. I am very guilty of asking her for free services. Except that this was the way she fed herself. I was taking time and money away from her, so that I could have something for free. She is the only person who can ask me for a free painting.
Do not Ask an Artist why they are not as Good as another Artist
I was perusing my instagram feed and showed someone an artist whose art I especially love. Their response, "Oh Katherine! Why aren't you that good?"
....
Do not Ask when a Pregnant Artist is going to Give Up their Art
While I was pregnant with my first little, I was asked more than once,"Well now that you are going to have a baby, its time to give up making art, right?"
Each time I was so shocked I just stood there and mumbled out, "Well no..."
The answer is NEVER!
Do not tell a New Artist Parent, "The laundry will always be there, it can wait, just paint."
Actually just don't say this to any new mom about anything. It offers no solutions and yes, the laundry and everything else will always be there and yes, we are in the middle of losing our minds, and yes our messy homes are indicators of the mess inside our heads. So no, I can't just paint.
Do not ask, "So, have you been painting lately?"
Number 1 way to make any artist groan and die a little on the inside. Like you wouldn't ask someone, "So, have you been going to work lately?" Or like my bestie who is the director of a medieval library, you wouldn't say to her, "So, have you been librarianing lately?"
This one is so hard to explain. Legit though, every artist hates it.
I especially hated this one during baby years. No, the answer was no, and it killed me just a little bit more every time I had to say it. However, there are two Do Ask Options of this below.
Do not go out of your way to give Art Advice, unless We Specifically Ask for It
"Katherine, I was thinking about your art. Don't you think that if you added wallpaper patterns to the back of your pet portraits that would make them more unique?" What I said, "Sure, maybe?" What I thought, "Nope."
Look, your suggestion might be legit good, but unless we ask for it, don't give it. I don't come to your house and say, "Dude, that Tableau Report that you were working on could use some different field arrangements. I just don't like the way that it looks."
There is also a Do Ask option of this below.
Things you Should Say to an Artist about their Art
Do use Kind Words, like Don't Give Up
A handful of years ago I was visiting my neighbor, Karma. Her grandson is a professional artist and she had one of his paintings hanging in her living room. She caught me glaring at it. I had just had my second baby, and was in the throws of some really intense postpartum depression. I was not making art.
She came up to me, put her arms around me and said, "Your time will come, don't give up." I think about that flower painting often.
Do ask about their Art Specifically
Like this one, my buddy was talking to me, and she tentatively once asked, "Have you been painting lately? You haven't posted anything for while and I have been worrying." That was a loaded question full of "I see yous."
See, its different.
Or this one, instead of asking "Have you been going to work lately?" We ask, "The last time we talked you told me about project blah blah blah, but I don't remember specifics. How is that going? Or have you moved on to something new?"
So when talking to an artist, "The last time we talked, you were working on a blah blah. How is that going? Are you done with it or do you think you might expand it?" You don't even have to follow us on instagram to remember these things.
Do tell us How our Art Makes you Feel
Like this one time my little one came up to me, gave me a hug and said "Momma, your paint colors make me happy." Ah baby, you make me happy!
Do show us Art that reminds you of our Art, but only if it is good
I was at a museum with some friends and we were looking at a Norman Rockwell. Friend says to me, "Katherine, your technique looks like Rockwells! Don't you think?" I was so shocked and flattered, that I just mumbled something and waddled away, but in my heart I shall keep that compliment close.
Do Ask about someone else's Art
There is little less that artist like to do than tear down or build up another artist.
Do Give us Advice when We ask for it
If I have asked you for advice, its because I think you will say something worth listening to. You don't have to feel bad about hurting feelings or saying something wrong or "not good enough." Feed back from different angles is what helps us grow.
Do Ask us How work is going
It is easy to see what I do as a hobby, but its not. It is work. Asking, "How is work going?" or "What have you been painting recently?" Has a different tone than "Have you been painting recently?"
What do you think? Anybody got anything else to add to the list? Or do you have questions about how to talk to your artist loved one? Let me know down in the comments.
If you would like to keep up to date on all of my blog posts, sign up for my Newsletter below:
Comments